Vamdeva is known as Kamari for being the destroyer of Kamdeva (God of lust). Kamdeva had captured all the beings directly. He did not spared even Lord Brahma, who generated him. Hence he was also contaminated by lust. He created an intoxicating state of mind among mothers and sisters also, by shooting harsh arrows towards them and thus he claimed to be the highest victorious in the world. He thought – “I can conquer any one. No one in the world can face the challenge of my bow and arrow”. Subsequently he tried hard to capture the Supreme Lord Mahadeva. And what was the result? He was turned to ashes within seconds, entire world got freedom from lust, people were delighted, and Bholenath was named as Kamari.

Shankar is known as Kamari, because the Kama (lust and other material desires) is the main obstacle in his attainment. Subduing the lust is compulsory for a spiritual seeker. Shama (mind control), Dama (sense control), Uparati (detachement) and Titiksha (forbearance) are the synonyms of self control. Even after removal of imprudence, it is difficult to refrain from evils due to a hidden force for sense-enjoyment. Therefore one should pray sincerely to the Lord. This pastimes of ‘slaying Kamdva’ is well described in Puranas. According to Kalplata—

कर्पूरश्वेत! त्वं कामेच्छोर्दूरे निष्कामानामासन्नः।
दर्पं कंदर्पस्य प्रक्षिण्वन् विख्यातोऽभूर्लोके कामारिः॥

O Lord! Bright like camphor! You stay away from the materialistic people and you are very close to your self-satisfied devotees. You destroyed the pride of Kamdeva and for this specific reason you are famous as Kamari in the world.

Actually Shiva destroys the sense of lust by destroying the ignorance. Because Brahman (Supreme Lord), which resides within the realized state is the destroyer of ignorance, not the realization itself. In the magnifying glass the sunrays are the cause of heat, not the glass itself.

Actually every desire is inauspicious as it arises from ignorance. As Shiva is keen for cosmic welfare, so he destroys the selfish tendencies of individuals. Therefore he is named as Kamari. In ‘Shivotkarshamanjari’ Neelkantha has also beautifully described this pastime of ‘slaying Kamdeva’.

वक्त्राब्जेषु पितामहस्य जगतां वक्षस्थले श्रीपतेः
सर्वांगेषु शतक्रतोरपि दृढानुच्छ्रित्य जैत्रध्वजान्।
संप्राप्तो मदनोऽपि यस्य निखिलज्योति पतंगायितः
स स्वामी मम दैवतं तदितरो नाम्नाऽपि नाम्नायते॥

Bhagvad Gita also accepts Kamdeva as the principal opponent and warns the seekers to be beware of it— Viddhiyenam iha vairinam. Self realization is not possible without elimination of lust. Therefore it is considered the main hindrance. Only after getting free from lust, one can feel proximity with Shiva.

Scholars have mentioned this pastime in Dakshina Moorthy Stotram as under—

मत्तो मारो यस्य ललाटाक्षिभवाग्नि-स्फूर्जत्कीलप्रोषितभस्मीकृतदेहः।
तद्भस्मासीद्यस्य सुजातः पटवासः तं प्रत्यञ्चं दक्षिणवक्त्रं कलयामि॥

।Purport: Who is super-soul situated in the heart of all beings, whose third eye projected the fire-flames to burn Kamdeva into ashes, who uses that cinder as a cosmetic powder just to decorate his body, I adore that primeval Lord Dakshinamoorty. Limited fulfillment of material desires by abandoning illicit sensual pleasures is the true form of worship of Kamari.